Overcoming Negativity: It All Starts in With Thoughts

You ever feel completely defeated? Like life is controlling YOU instead of you being able to control it? Like life is happening TO you? I go through periods of feeling so on top of the world, but a lot of the time (especially as I get older) I just feel like I have no control over the things that happen to me and that I just can't do it. I can't ever get to the body that I want. I'll be stuck at this job forever. I'll never be happy every day that I wake up. I can never stay consistent with eating right or with my skin care routine. I won't ever reach my long-term goals. I can never stay consistent in the word. I can't break my bad habits. You get it. I know as you're reading this, if you can relate, there's probably a few things that popped up in your head that you feel like you can't overcome or goals you can't reach or that life is just hard sometimes. Nothing will ever change or get better. Right? I envy people that have a natural ability to wake up and are motivated to conquer everything they want and actually do it. We all have that friend that goes to the gym, studies, eats right, has a great social life, AND makes time to volunteer?!!!! Man. I have a friend that's that way and it's inspiring to say the least. We can be that person too, though.

I discovered the key. The key to life. Your mind. Shocking, I know. You have probably heard this all before but just hear me out. 

Side note: Skip this paragraph if you want to get to the tea. 

I've been replacing music in the mornings on my way to work with listening to podcasts. I really want to feed my mind and spirit instead of clogging my mind with secular music this year. It's been an awesome change. Actually, one of the podcasts I have been listening to and loving is called 'The Life Coach School Podcast' by Brooke Castillo. Her podcast is what has put me on game and inspired me to write about this topic. Along with life experience, of course, but it has definitely planted a seed in me. I'm mentioning this because some of what I say in this blog are things she has re-sparked in my mind and I wanted to give credit. And also tell you to start listening to podcasts because there's so much to learn from them! Back to the point.

Everything starts in your mind. Your thoughts are what controls your feelings. You react to those feelings which creates your actions. And your actions determine the results of your life. So when you really think about it, it truly does start with your thinking. Just to kind of paint a picture for you, my worst days are usually when I don't have the day that I planned or that I would've liked. I come home and complain to my boyfriend how much my day sucked when my day went a little like this: I visualize the night before that I want to work out tomorrow, eat healthy meals, and have a positive day, right? Instead I woke up thinking about how much I don't feel like working out and that I'll just do it tomorrow. When it's time to eat, I didn't feel like preparing the meal so I went to a fast food place and got something because its easier. I wanted to have a positive day but I thought one negative thought that led to another one, and I allowed them to linger around the whole day instead of taking them captive. So boom. Now I'm mad at myself because I didn't work out, my stomach is hurting and bloated because I'm still eating out all the time, and my day got worse because I thought about negative things all day. You see the chain effect? Eventually thoughts like these become a habit. And it has. A very crucial, long, and dark habit. Then you look up year after year and see the results of that kind of thinking. Nothing is changing. I trained my mindset into that negative thinking pattern. 

We are our worst enemies. I learned that our minds don't adapt to change very well. That's why when we're trying to break a habit or make a change it is so difficult to do it. There's a resistance every time. I can't just wake up one day and say "I'm going to go to the gym every day for 5 hours from this day on" when I haven't been to the gym in 2 years. I can't plan on having a better walk with God and say I'm going to read the bible every day when I haven't done it in ages. Naturally, I'm going to experience some resistance because my brain and body is not used to that routine. It's not that you can't do it, you just have to decide you're going to, no matter what it takes. This goes for anything not just physical things. Addictions, bad habits, happiness, peace, joy. The things you want and don't want. You have to train your brain when you want to make a change. Get through the resistance. You don't stop when you feel the resistance of whatever it is you're trying to change. That's when you go harder. That is when you'll see the changes in your life that you want to see. Once you get through the resistance it becomes second hand and you don't have to go through the stage of deciding whether you feel like doing it. You have to create your new normal by your thoughts first. Eventually, your days will just be better most often than not. You'll be more productive and you'll be intentional about the things in your life because you shifted your mind. You trained your thoughts in the way that they should go. Is this making sense to you? That's why the friend that has it all together does it effortlessly. He/she disciplined their mind in a way that everything they do becomes natural to them. They make their mind up and act on it. Sometimes you literally feel unable. Incapable. Unqualified. Imagine who you want to be and be it each day.

You are in control of your life and it's outcomes because you are in control of your thoughts.

That's why God tells us to think good things. Philippians 4:8 says "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent and praiseworthy, think about these things. And the peace of God will be with you." I had to include the spiritual perspective, too. Think good thoughts and that will create a good life. Accept change and get through it's resistance. In the spiritual context, rebuke those thoughts in the name of Jesus because the devil is a lie. The enemy knows that your mind is the most powerful thing about you, so if he can get into our heads and knock us off of our game, our potential, our gifts, and the power God gave us then he has our life under his control. Don't allow him to take over your thoughts. In order for you to apply this to your life, you have to believe that changing your thinking will change your life. Examine your mind and ask yourself are these positive thoughts? This may sound funny, but really step outside of your own mind and see what you think about on daily basis and ask yourself "do these thoughts align with my purpose and plans. Are these thoughts bringing me closer or farther away from the things that will bring me joy?" Be aware of the way you think because that is what's ultimately determining the path of your life. 

I've seen it first hand in my own life. I literally wake up and work out if that's what I said I was going to do. I don't give myself enough time to think about if I really want to do it. When I actually get into it, it always ends of feeling good anyway. I wake up, thank God, and be grateful that I have a job instead of thinking about how much I don't want to be doing this anymore. Therefore, I have better days. I just had a day this week when I went back to that old thinking and I had the worst day... AGAIN. It's just proof to me that my thoughts are the powerhouse. When you make those steps to think about your life in a positive light you'll automatically feel better. It feels good to know that you actually can change your own life because sometimes it feels like we can't. We feel stuck right where we are. As soon as you change your mind. I don't always succeed at it but it gets better the more I give myself this reminder. I have goals and I'll never get to them if my thoughts aren't in the right place. I am in control. Take back control over your mind so you can have back control of your life! Don't let your thoughts defeat you. 

Don't allow the discomfort of changing your mindset to stop you from living the life you deserve.

Hope this helped. 

Love.